naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
