Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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