You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
