quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
