It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
