good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
