Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
