NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
