so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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