Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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