Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
