Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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