Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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