do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
