How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We smell like vodka and hangover
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
