I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize