Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He shit in the fireplace
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
