Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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