Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
