planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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