BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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