if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
