exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize