I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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