Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize