I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
