Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
