i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
