oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
