it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
