I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just crazy horny about you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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