Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize