so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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