Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize