you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize