dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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