Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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