I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
