Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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