WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
did you just send me my own nude
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How does one acquire holy water?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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