I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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