last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
