we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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