i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
