let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
