Grow some girl-balls and come out already
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
