I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
