Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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