you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I need moral support for this bender
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
