"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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