When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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