My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
