I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize