yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
