Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
