pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate all girls vehemently.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
