Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
