He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
