in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
