i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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