Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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