the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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