Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
