If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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