yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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