And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
