Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
