Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize