My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
