Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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