dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize