Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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