I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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