FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
