Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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