where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
