Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
